Green Eyes
by Angelscribe
Summary: Loosely based on the episode Seeing Red - but what if it wasn't Spike who attacked Buffy?Anya and Xander's break-up has far-reaching consequences ...
1. 1

**Green Eyes.**

Rating: R

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon & co.

Summary: Anya's past as a vengeance demon returns to haunt her as she doesn't realise the true extent of her actions. Her hastily contrived wish leads the Slayer and her Scoobies to re-evaluate their relationships with each other with some shocking results.

Notes: Forgive any discrepancies in details of past events, some will be deliberate but others may be down to a hazy memory. Giles has not left yet and Willow and Tara have not split up, although their relationship is on rocky ground. All feedback, good or bad, welcomed.

**Starring:**

Sarah Michelle Gellar as _Buffy_

James Marsters as _Spike_

Nicholas Brendan as _Xander_

Emma Caulfield as _Anya_

Alyson Hannigan as _Willow_

Amber Benson as _Tara_

Michelle Trachtenberg as _Dawn_

Anthony Stewart Head as _Giles_

**Previously on _Buffy_ …**

_Montage of Xander and Anya's relationship, ending with Anya in her wedding dress, in tears._

_Shots of each of the Scoobies looking downhearted; Xander and Anya on their own and __Willow__Tara__, Dawn and Giles all in the Magic Box, but not talking._

**Spike: **_(voiceover)_ Buffy fights the forces of evil. You're her groupies. She'd do just as well without you – better I'd wager, since she wouldn't have to go about saving your hides all the time … You're just the same tenth grade losers you've always been, and she's too much of a softie to cut you lose …

**Cut**

_Montage of Buffy and Spike, fighting each other and then fighting side by side.__ Shots of them kissing, then Buffy pushing him away, then them kissing again._

**Spike: **_(voiceover) _You're a tease, you know that, Slayer? Get a fella's motor revvin', let the tension marinate a couple of days, then bam! Crown yourself the ice queen.

**Cut**

_Shots of the aftermath of Buffy's death, including Spike crying.__ Shot of him kneeling in front of Buffy after her return from the grave, her hands in his._

**Spike**: I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted of course, but after that. Every night after that. … Every night I save you.

**Cut**

**Teaser …**

Why did everything have to change? Just when they thought things were getting back on track, it all had to fall apart as usual. It just wasn't _fair._

The younger of the two Summers sisters sighed and flipped her long brunette hair back over her shoulder, out of the way. The silence was practically deafening in the Magic Box; definitely a rare occurrence. Usually, there were a few customers to be dealt with; research to be done; Buffy training out back with Giles – a real buzz, even if they were too busy for ordinary chitchat. Today though, they were all uncomfortable with each other for some reason or other and, not surprisingly, upset by the unexpected turn the so-called happy occasion had taken. They had expected Xander and Anya to be happily honeymooning right about now, but instead the wedding had ended in tears – called off indefinitely; the would-be bride and groom going their separate ways, both obviously devastated. Dawn was never going to understand what had possessed Xander to back out when it was clear how much the ex-demon, Anya, meant to him …

The teenager sighed again, resting her chin in her hand gloomily and shaking her head –and they called her immature! What ever happened to talking things out …?

"So … what happens now?" she ventured to ask without looking up, more than a little fearful of the answer. She had lost enough lately without seeing the group split up too – her mother, her sister before she had returned … She loved them all and she couldn't wait for them to start seeing her as a grown-up so she could more a part of things – if they split now, that would never happen!

Seeing that no one else seemed prepared to answer the young girl, Tara pulled her chair closer to Dawn's and tried to smile reassuringly. The blonde Wiccan had a soft spot for the girl and saw how anxious she looked. She would have loved to tell her everything would straighten itself out, but that just didn't sound convincing when she knew full well things were really going to change over the next few weeks.

"I don't know, Dawnie." she said softly, her words honest if not particularly helpful and she thought it was important that they didn't tell outright lies, even if it was only with the intention of shielding the young girl from getting hurt. She knew from personal experience that way only led to more trouble. "I think everyone's just going to need some time right now … Process everything, you know? There's too much going on at the minute to rush things …"

"But, what happens to US?" asked Dawn, trying to get her point across without actually voicing her fears. She took a second to consider what she had said and hoped it hadn't come across as selfish – it wasn't that she didn't care about Xander and Anya.

"We just have to get on with ... stuff …" said Willow, trying to look unconcerned and not really succeeding. "Don't worry, Dawn, worse things have happened and we've stuck it out – things will get back to normal soon and then we can just put it all behind us."

"Why do you think he did it? Or didn't, I suppose." the teen asked, unable to repress her natural curiosity for long. "I mean, I can't figure it out – I thought everything was fine. Him and Anya are perfect for each other, or at least they were … Maybe something happened we don't know about – maybe …"

Caught up in her conspiracy theories, Dawn never heard the light jingle as the door of the shop opened and was only cut off by Willow's exclamation.

"Xander!"

The redhead jumped up from her seat and was about to hurry to him when she stopped awkwardly, unsure of what to even say to him. None of them understood why he had called off the wedding, considering the effect that action had on him, and it was obvious they didn't know the full story.

"Uh, hey." she said unsurely, settling for giving him a little wave from where she was. Glancing around, hoping someone else would think of something more useful to say, she saw that there wasn't much chance of that as Giles tried to speak and then settled for nodding in greeting. He set about cleaning his glasses enthusiastically, a sure sign that the now unofficial Watcher felt out of his depth. And no help was likely to come from the others either - Tara was just smiling weakly and nervously twirling a strand of hair around her fingers, while Dawn was looking guilty and obviously hoping Xander hadn't heard what she had been talking about.

"Hey." returned Xander after a pause, with an attempt at his usual cheeriness. He was still in his suit, but his tie was undone and the top buttons of his shirt were open. "Please, don't all speak at once – I'm feeling a little overwhelmed as it is." he tried to joke.

"Xand …"

"It's okay, Will – don't look at me like that. I'm fine. You know me, no keeping the Xand-man down. So what's the what round here? Any baddies to dust, apocalypses to avert, or anything? … Is that a nay? … Gee, I guess ya just can't depend on demons these days - not like I'm Mr. Dependable myself though, so I shouldn't really say anything …" Xander rambled on, ignoring the looks of concern he was getting from everyone in the room. "And Lord knows I've given up trying to understand demons – got a little personal experience in that area. Not workin' out too well."

"Maybe you should take some time …" Giles began sympathetically.

"I'm a busy man, Giles – places to go, people to see."

"You can't _go_!" said Willow in alarm, "You need to take it easy, get yourself together …"

"I can't." he said simply, the strain beginning to show on his face as his façade threatened to break down. "I … I have to talk to Anya … make her understand … I thought she might come here, but it looks like I was wrong – pretty much par for the course these days …"

He turned and headed for the door again, mumbling to himself about where else he could try to look and Willow made as if to follow him, but she was stopped by Giles's hand on her shoulder.

"Let him go." he said softly, "We have to give him space right now."

They all just watched silently, feeling more helpless than ever, as Xander paused in the doorway to look left and right before deciding which way to go and disappearing, his hands jammed in his pockets and his shoulders slumped.

**tbc…**


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A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed – it's really appreciated and I take all comments, criticisms, suggestions, etc. on board so feel free to let me know if there's anything you think could be better or anything! :) This may seem a little slow-burning, but it'll get a bit clearer in the next part! Thanks for reading.

...

She was reasonably sure that she was a unexpected sight in this shoddy little bar – although how these senseless humans felt they were in any position to judge her … well, it was beyond the ex-demon to imagine. Still, she could hardly blame them for taking a second glance at the woman with tear-stained cheeks, wearing a wedding dress in the sort of place where ripped jeans would probably be considered formal wear.

"Anyanka? Anyanka, have you even heard a word I've been saying? Honestly, I think you've been spending too much time around those humans you seem so fond of – your mind is beginning to wander at the first distraction, just like theirs …"

"Hallie …" but she stopped with a sigh. Was there really any point in arguing? Perhaps she had been kidding herself that a demon – ex, or otherwise – could ever truly fit in here. Maybe she had simply been spending too long denying who she really was … Although, it seemed that some things just don't change – her friend, Hallie, for example could still be as annoying as ever. Distraction. As if the collapse of her marriage before it ever started was some mere trifle to be brushed aside and forgotten! No, _brushing_ Xander aside did not sound right – _throwing_ him with great force … now, that had a ring to it.

"I mean, really, you are a shadow of your former self!" her old friend from back in her demon days continued, almost as if she hadn't even heard her. "And I suppose you will just let them go unpunished for their callous treatment of you? How dare a mere mortal humiliate a vengeance demon like this?! Okay, okay – ex vengeance demon, but that's hardly the issue, is it? Or maybe it is …" The demon, still in her human guise, tilted her head thoughtfully to contemplate her friend. "Perhaps this is a sign …"

"A sign of what, Hallie?" sighed Anya wearily, downing another shot of whatever they had been ordering and wincing as it hit the back of her throat. She held no doubt that she was going to be told anyway, so she might as well humour her friend.

"That you should return to your true calling, of course!" she said brightly, as if it should have been obvious Anya. "You should return to avenging those who have been wronged – and who better to start with than yourself?"

"You know I cannot grant my own wish for vengeance …"

"But _I_ could! Anything to help a friend, you know me; anything to oblige …"

Anya thought it over for a moment – all the hurt and confusion and utter misery that Xander had wrought upon her in one simple act. She still didn't understand how he could claim to love her and yet do that to her – she would never understand that, no matter how long she lived.

"The thought of giving him some great physical pain does seem strangely satisfactory …" she mused, focusing on her anger in order to avoid the pain she was going through. She would far rather think about all the ways she could make Xander suffer than break down in tears again …

**CUT**

Unaware that his ex-wife-to-be was currently contemplating the many ways she could inflict pain upon him, Xander was back in the apartment they were to have shared in their new life together as man and wife. He was having trouble understanding how that whole dream life had fallen apart, so of course he was doing what any self-respecting schmuck would do, having just destroyed the rest of his life – drowning his sorrows. He took a long drag from the beer can in his hand, crumpled the empty tin and threw it to the floor to join the growing pile there. Not that it was helping, but it did give him something to do … something to numb the pain even a little and distract him from thinking too clearly …

He glanced up at the sound of a knock on the door and froze guiltily. Anya. She was coming to talk to him, to straighten things out and he could explain and make everything all right again. What the hell would she think when she saw him drinking himself stupid?

However, he didn't even pause to hide the evidence – it was more important that he see her and fix this as soon as possible, so he hurried to get the door and threw it open.

"Hey."

Damn. There he was with the getting up of the hopes – shouldn't he know better than that by now? Xander Harris, screw-up extraordinaire – when would he ever learn?

"Hey." he said flatly, turning away from his visitor, leaving the door open but making no attempt to invite her in. He threw himself back onto the couch and opened another beer for himself before looking up at his guest and gesturing vaguely towards the fridge. "Think there's still a cold one …"

"Still kinda early for me, but, uh, thanks …" said Buffy awkwardly, unused to seeing the ever cheerful Xander in such a state. Not that she blamed him, but he really wasn't doing himself any favours. "So … how are you?"

"Well, lets see – I screwed up. Again. Anya's gone. She hates me. I'm great." he said with blatantly false enthusiasm.

"Sorry, dumb question."

Feeling totally out of her depth, Buffy sat down gingerly on the edge of the couch and tried to think of a less stupid way to break the uncomfortable silence which had descended. Give her vampires, demons, or even apocalypses any day – those she could handle. Relationship problems – _so_ not her strong point.

"She loves you, you know."

"Good of you to defend her – didn't think you'd be that big on sisterhood what with her stealing your boyfriend an' all."

"I'm not defending her. And she didn't steal him …" said Buffy before realising she wasn't doing her own case any favours. "And he's not my boyfriend!"

"And in that order, you leap to protest." Xander said wryly, taking another mouthful of beer.

"Look, this is not about me – I'm here because I'm worried about _you_. Xander, I thought you said this wasn't about that thing with … him? Anya didn't mean to … She made a mistake, a big stupid mistake and she …"

"And I have to ask, are we talking about Anya or you here?" Xander leaned forward, arms resting on his knees, his head down as he shook it slightly in disbelief. "All those times I told Spike to get lost ... that he didn't have a chance with a girl like you …"  
  
Buffy looked away at his bitter laugh and bit her lip, trying to think of a way to explain without being too hard on him. She knew he was hurting so he was lashing out – making things worse was the last thing she wanted to do.

"You don't know how hard it's been." she said softly.  
  
"What, lying to me?"

He seemed determined not to make this any easier for her.

"Being here. After I was brought back." she said, a little of her anger at being judged like this escaping. She instantly regretted her harsh tone as her friend's face fell, obviously remembering her musical confession of being torn from heaven and their horror at having been unwittingly responsible for causing her such pain. "You have no idea how hard it is just being here." she added, more calmly but still needing him to understand.

"You could have told me."  
  
"You didn't want to know."  
  
"So you went to him instead?"

Buffy sighed and ran her hands through her long golden locks, a little despairingly. The old green-eyed monster rearing its head again. She had thought they had moved on from that. She had always been aware of Xander's inherent dislike and mistrust of Angel, but it wasn't like she and Xander were ever going to be more than just good friends – best friends, in fact – and she thought that he had accepted that fact. She had been with other guys – Riley and Parker, though she didn't like to dwell on either of those relationships much now – and Xander and Anya were obviously made for each other … Even if they couldn't see it. Just when she thought all that jealousy was in the past, here he was getting all wound up about Spike of all people.

"Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business."  
  
He looked at her and a little humorless smile touched his lips briefly – there was a look in his eyes that wouldn't have been out of place if she had hauled back and slapped him. "It used to be."

When was she going to get through putting her foot in her mouth? She just couldn't seem to find the words she needed to make this okay but for some reason she felt compelled to justify herself, to defend her … well, whatever it was that had happened between her and the blonde vampire. If it had her confused though, how could she even start to explain to someone else?

"It just happened, okay?"  
  
Xander actually chuckled, "Oh, like, uh … 'Say, you're evil - get on me'?"  
  
Buffy couldn't explain it, but she realized that the flare of anger which she had to struggle to hide was not for herself. She could do without one of her best friends practically calling her a ho, but strangely her first thought was to ask herself where exactly he got off calling Spike evil after everything that had happened. At the back of her mind, a little voice seemed to hint that there was significance in such unexpected defense of her once greatest nemesis, but she chose to ignore it for now.

"You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn." she said coldly.

"But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking?"

She couldn't claim he was completely wrong – she knew what Spike was, but it did hurt to be reminded. So she wasn't perfect – who was? Xander was hardly in much of a position himself to criticize.  
  
"You're asking me that? Oh, 'cause your decision making skills have really sparkled lately!" she said with a harsh laugh, but inwardly she cringed. Now who was the one lashing out?  
  
"I'm not saying I didn't make any mistakes." said Xander quietly, looking away regretfully before composing himself and pushing away all the thought of his failed relationship to return to the issue of Buffy and the soulless vampire. "But last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them! He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn then?"  
  
She hadn't thought that far ahead – forward planning wasn't exactly a strong point with her and the thought of Spike ever turning on her young sister made her blood run cold. Yes, she knew what he was, but he was different now – different with her and different with Dawn. He had sworn to protect the teenager and he had stood by his word, even when she wasn't around to give him brownie points. So the chip meant he couldn't bite – it couldn't be responsible for all the other changes in him … or could it?  
  
"It doesn't matter." she said, her tone one of resignation. "I'm not seeing him anymore. It's over."  
  
Just a bitter smirk from Xander. "Yeah. There's a lot of that going around."

tbc…


End file.
